A Letter To My Mother-In-Love

Dear Mother-In-law

There are many monster-in-law stories on the internet, but this is definitely not one of them.

Tears are filling my eyes as I am writing this, but do not fret. These tears are filled with joy and thankfulness unto the Lord.

For this mother-in-law, I have prayed. A mother-in-law who fears the Lord, for I knew that I will need an extra pair of knees to support me in prayer. A mother-in-law who would love me like her own and call me daughter. For this mother-in-law, I have prayed, but God gave me a mother.

Many women are good mothers to their biological children, but only a few can love as you do. Your love is genuine and evident in everything you do. It is the kind of love that put my own mother at ease, the love that assured her that her daughter will be in good hands. She rests in peace knowing that her daughter has a shoulder to cry on, and a support system to guide her through motherhood.

I thank you for loving me with everything I came with; my flaws, and my siblings. Thank you for being the best Gugu (grandmother) to our sons and for always spoiling us when you can. Thank you for all the snacks and food that you pack for us and not being mad at me for not returning your Tupperware on time. You discipline with love for your aim is not to break me, but to build me up to be the best version of myself.

On this day I celebrate and I thank the Lord for a mother like you. Happy mother’s day.

I recently wrote a blog post about motherhood on Elize’s Homethentic blog celebrating all mother figures because mother’s day is not only for those who gave birth but for every woman who sacrificed and continues to sacrifice their life to love and nurture children. You can read the blog post here.

Childlike Traits To Help Mothers Attain Their Dreams

The worst thing we can do to ourselves and our dreams is to limit or totally shut down our imagination.

“All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” – Pablo Picasso

It has been the desire of my heart for the longest time to host ladies, especially mothers in townships, and have a day of pampering and conversing about the struggles they face with the hope to lift up their spirit and encourage them. 

I remember going home during school holidays and overhearing and sometimes engaging in conversations that really left me with a heavy heart. It saddened me to hear how mothers let their inner child die the minute they brought a child into this world. 

On the 29th of February 2020, I had the opportunity to have a sit down with a few wonderful young mommies from different backgrounds and we had the most amazing time ever. 

I had actually kind of forgotten about my dream of having events directed at empowering and uplifting women when I decided to invite these ladies over to my house. I was actually just looking for an opportunity to hang out with ladies without having to leave my babies at home. So it started off just as a fun day. It was only on the evening before the event that I got nervous and started thinking about the reason behind the gathering. Why was I putting in effort and money, which I could spend on my children, on this gathering? Then it hit me and I remembered how badly I’ve been looking for an opportunity to bring the inner child back to life.

You might be wondering what kind of childish mother creche I’m trying to start here with childlike mothers. However, there’s a difference between being childlike and being childish. People who act bratty or immature are childish, but to be childlike is to have the good qualities associated with a child. At this gathering, we mainly focused on the childlike qualities that will have you dreaming big and working on the best version of yourself.

Wild Imagination

I think the worst thing we can do to ourselves and our dreams is to limit or totally shut down our imagination. The bible says that “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. 

I’ve been observing Rofhiwa in total awe as he creates amazing moments of things that he hopes for and experiencing them as though they are real. This took me back to ‘my days’ (I say my days because I feel like I too have limited my imagination) when I used to let my imagination run free and wild. The days when I would walk back from school and imagine my whole future as it is today. Ohk, not everything went as I had hoped for. Some things worked out even better than I had imagined, then there are a few that didn’t work out at all. The only one that I would’ve never imagined to happen so early in my life, is the death of my mother. I wonder where I would’ve been had I not let my imagination run wild. Remember that “as a man thinketh, so he is”.

Believing 

I find it amazing how children confidently walk around believing that their parents will buy them the toy that they so badly desire without even considering where the money will come from. We used to be like that as children until the world filled us with too many reasons why things won’t happen. The sad part about losing faith is that we could easily pass it on to our children and kill their dreams even before they get to imagine themselves as something greater than their current situation. If you strongly believe that you can attain a certain goal in life, your whole mindset will be channeled into working towards achieving it and nothing will stop you. A child believes in his imaginations so much that it becomes real to him. As a mother you need to know that God is able to make a way, you just need to believe it! 

Curiosity and Persistence

Have you ever had to say no to a child and still have to comfort him after he ignored you and got hurt? A child’s curiosity and persistence do not allow him to take a “no” as easy as adults do. And do to think that getting hurt will stop them from going back to the exact thing you were trying to keep them away from. Curiosity will lead you to ask questions that will open the doors that lock up your mother’s dreams, it will lead you to solutions to your problems and with solutions come opportunities. Persistence will have you working hard until you achieve your goals. 

I know there are many other mothers who got into situations that forced them to ‘grow up’ and prioritize the well being of their children. You have managed to be a good mother but your children would not want to be the reason for you giving up on your dreams. If you keep that childlike mindset alive you will be able to take care of your children and inspire them while doing that. You spent your childhood years as an artist painting a bright future for yourself so don’t let motherhood force you to put away your paint and brush. You can still finish your painting, it might take a bit longer and require a bit more effort and strength, but you will make it.